God, You don't need me...

It was a hot afternoon and I was driving on the same highway I had driven on countless times in college. I was heading back to the camp I grew up going to as a child, was a counselor and program staff for in College and worked the first two years after college as a tech director. It was like driving home. Except this time it was for a different job.

The cool part about all of this is that my in-laws still live and work at the camp so it was a fun time to see them and though I was there to perform, was able to spend some time with them… as we loaded up the trailer after the show. :)

Camp has had a profound impact on my life. It was where my faith first really took off. It’s where I met my wife and where I decided that I wanted to really pursue the work of God’s kingdom. I’m sure we all have a place like that in our lives. It might not be the same place but there are moments that you can’t help but remember where you were when you made them.

I remember sitting out at Teepee Village talking with my counselor as a junior camper telling him that I didn’t think God could really use me until I was 16 and had a car. Now I can’t stop driving all over the place. :)

Even in those small moments of naivety I believe that God sees our hearts. He saw a kid that wanted to help but didn't know how. But there was a lie hidden in my question. To be honest, I don’t really remember my counselors answer to me way back then, but if I were to answer my camper self then when what I know now, I think I could sum it up pretty quickly. Serve where you are, but don’t serve like God needs you, serve because you can’t help but love God back because of how much He loves you.

I’ll admit it, I struggle with saying no. For some reason I feel like if someone needs warmth, I should be the one to light myself on fire to give it to them. But you know what? God doesn’t need me that badly. He wants me, but He doesn’t need me.

A band that I look up to and had the privilege to open a show for a year or so ago wrote a song called “Control” In it Mike from Tenth Avenue North sings, “God you don’t need me, but somehow You want me”

That was a lyric I desperately needed to hear. Something I need to make my anthem. God does not receive glory because we did it for Him, but because of what He did for us. And because of that our breath, our joy and our passion is pursuing Him and calling out to others to do the same. To run with us. Not because we are better, or have arrived, but because the pursuit is so worth it.

-matt