Losing to win

There were times groaning up when I distinctly remember trying to make deals with God. You know, the ones that are if you please let us win this soccer game then I'll go to some far off place when I'm old. Wait, was I the only one that did that? No? Okay good at least we are all in the same boat. 

We didn't win that soccer game by the way, but looking back I think it would have been a bad deal for both of us. 

See, if we did, I would have had an obligation to serve, but instead now I have a passion and desire to do so. That is so much stronger than the weight of winning a soccer game. 

It's a choice to "wreck" my "perfect" little world with the opportunity to serve others. I've been called crazy, insane, unloving, a failure and even that I neglect my children all because I see music as a way to serve others. 

Music is more than just a series of notes on a page, or tones. It's a communication medium that speaks right to the soul. To keep that for ones own self and pleasure would be selfish. To spread it to the world is not this selfish desire that I get famous and become a rock n roll legend. It's how I want to serve you and I want to serve others. By creating art that makes you think, wonder, consider and maybe, just maybe believe. 

Believe that there is a purpose beyond ourselves. That we were designed for something greater than just making a paycheck to then spend away on temporal things. 

So am I crazy? Sure, I'll admit that. Making art doesn't pay every 2 weeks and give you a nice benefits package with dental included. But what it does give is far beyond what any regular 9-5 could give me. The fulfillment of purpose. 

Someday soon I hope to email you as a full-time artist. Till that time, I do have the 9-5 that feeds my family and allows me the opportunities to say yes to gigs that I probably wouldn't be able to if it had to pay my bills. But until that time my goal is to be faithful to continuing to "lose" or say no to things that keep me from serving you, in order that I might "win" in making art that impacts your life. 

Thanks for being on the journey with me friend!

- matt