Who are you?


A few weekends ago my wife went on our churches women's retreat for the weekend (She took our son Corin, since he was only 6 weeks old at the time) which meant that it was just Ivy and I. The hard part about doing music as an independent artist is that there is always something that I could be doing. There's videos to make and edit, concerts to book and plan, songs to write and practice, social media accounts to maintain, etc. etc. etc. That's not a complaint, just the realities of life that I've chosen.

But for that weekend I made a different choice. I chose to be just Dad. 

If you've been with me for a while, I'm sure I've written several notes like this before to you. I find it harder to choose between what's good and what's best as opposed to what's good and bad. My career is meant to support my family, not replace it. 

Reality checks like this typically come right after a big musical win. This past one was after being out several weekends in a row for gigs. I start thinking "Maybe, just maybe if I push a little harder, do a little more then I can quit my day gig and do music full time. Wouldn't I be such a better tool in God's hand that way!?"

The short answer it no.

The longer I live the more I am constantly confronted in Scripture that God doesn't want our stuff, or what we can do for Him. He desires our obedience.

So the real question isn't what more can I do, but am I obedient where I am?

I started this off with a question of Who are you. When I started writing I was thinking that I would talk more about being a Dad, but I think it's more practical to talk about being a child. Ivy and Corin don't have to produce something for me to love them. I want what's best for them and even if they could mow the grass, fix the house and take out the trash, I wouldn't love them more because of it. But if they did those things and were disobedient in things that I had already told them to do that wouldn't make me appreciative of the extra stuff they were doing. 

We are God's children, not employees.  

So, who are you? You are a child first. 

Will making music ever be what sustains and provides for my family? Maybe. But it won't change how God thinks about me if I do. I'm still going to try and do my best, but I won't sacrifice obedience to do it. That would negate any message I could proclaim from the stage anyway. 

So today, today, I'm just a child. Not just a child, but God's kiddo. And for me, that's far more than enough.

- matt